We’re Married—and We’re Business Partners: How We Work Together at Work and at Home
There’s a kind of quiet only a house knows before the day begins. You can feel the weight of it in the kitchen—the gentle hum of the fridge, the last toy left on the table, the calendar staring back like a dare. And right beside that calendar is a decision you only really understand once you’ve tried it: can a husband and wife build something together—really together—without losing the “us” you promised to protect?
We’ve tried it both ways. We’ve done separate clients, separate lanes, separate worlds. We’ve traded shifts—one of us on payroll in the city while the other freelanced at home; then she took a work-from-home job while I kept pushing the business forward. We’ve stumbled through a trial business that taught us how not to talk to each other about work. And this year, we stepped into a different rhythm—one where we actually build together. Same mission. Shared responsibility. One team.
It hasn’t been perfect. But it’s been good.
From Parallel Lanes to One Team
Our origin story isn’t dramatic—it’s progressive. There was a season when we both freelanced, sometimes for the same client, sometimes for different ones. Then came the months where I carried the client load and she focused on the home. Later, she picked up a call-center position from the house while I worked when help arrived.
Last year we tested the waters: a small “trial business” where we discovered (quickly) that our communication styles and standards weren’t the same. It wasn’t a failure; it was a classroom. We learned how to set expectations that honored the relationship, not just the task. This year, we committed: we’re building Thomas Wilcox Family Man and the connected pieces together.
One Scene That Sums It Up
Right now we’re rebuilding one of our freelance profiles. It’s unglamorous, real work: I’m mapping systems; she’s executing applications; we’re both sharpening skills. Some roles lean toward my strengths, others toward hers. But the shared aim is the same: honorable work, steady cashflow, and a household atmosphere where God is honored.
When one of us hits a wall, the other has compassion—not pity, empathy. Because we’re in the same foxhole, we understand the terrain. The conversation quickly turns from “what did you do wrong?” to “how do we solve this together?”
Lanes and Overlap (Who Does What)
My lane leans toward high-level strategy and systems. I do most client care. We both carry creative and ops depending on the project. Finance right now doesn’t mean spreadsheets so much as cash-flow generation—and we both shoulder that responsibility. The key isn’t rigid job titles; it’s humility. We ask, “Who is the right person for this task right now?” and we let gifting—not ego—answer.
Home Rhythms That Make Business Possible
We run the house like a team, too. She takes the morning shift while the kids are at school and the youngest naps. I take the evening shift as the house winds down toward bedtime. Midday is flexible: if a window opens and inspiration sparks, one of us may jump in briefly, but our north star is clear—protect the space between shifts for family, home tasks, presence, and prayer. That boundary keeps our home from feeling like a co-working space.
What Used to Break Us (and What Doesn’t Anymore)
In the trial business, two triggers repeated: communication style and standards. I had expectations I hadn’t articulated; she had a pace and process that worked for her but wasn’t surfaced. Sometimes that bled into the marriage. The win wasn’t avoiding friction—it was repairing it. We learned to pause, name the misfire, and reset the conversation with respect. The test wasn’t “who’s right?” It was “are we still on the same team?”
Boundaries That Protect “Us”
We don’t have a dramatic “switch” between spouse mode and business mode, but we do have guardrails:
Time fences: Business talk has hours. Hard stop most days at 4pm family watch time.
Place fences: No business talk in our room. Minimal business on dates—unless we deliberately set time for it.
Connection cues: Ask daily questions that aren’t about work. Share a laugh, a walk, or a show—together.
We break a rule here and there because we care about the mission. But the rules are there to protect the marriage, not the plan.
Strengths We Rely On (Hers and Mine)
She’s brilliant at execution and detail. If I build the system, she makes it run. I bring overview and architecture—seeing the path, building frameworks, anticipating blockers. We’re not competing; we’re complementing. That shift—from proving to pairing—turned pressure into partnership.
When We Disagree
We don’t posture for “final say.” If we’re split, we assume the disagreement is a signal that a third option might exist. We slow down, pray, and look again. I respect what God has placed in her; she respects what God has asked of me. Unity is more valuable than being right.
Where God Meets Us in the Work
Faith isn’t a cloak we wear to feel better about hustle. It’s the center. I read and reflect before my shift; she listens for God’s nudges throughout the day and brings them to the table. We name our dependence out loud: we work faithfully on what’s in our hands; we trust God to do what only He can with provision and timing. That posture lowers anxiety and raises courage.
Money, Margin, and the Team Posture
Cash-flow stress is real. We don’t pretend it isn’t. But we carry it together. We remind each other who God is—Creator, Sustainer, Provider—and we recall past provision. When one of us wobbles, the other recenters the room. And practically, we keep sowing: daily outreach, clean proposals, consistent follow-through. Faith and sweat aren’t enemies.
What This Has Given Us (and Demanded)
Given: deeper trust, stronger friendship, and constant conversation. We always have something to build together.
Demanded: humility, patience, teachability. I’ve had to grow in how I communicate; she’s carried her own growth edges with grace. The business isn’t just a revenue stream; it’s a discipleship tool.
If You’re Thinking About Building With Your Wife
Do it for the right reasons. And do it in the right order.
Be fully committed to the marriage first. If that commitment is shaky, business will magnify the cracks.
Expect tension in the opening phases. Name it. Repair it. Learn from it.
Start with a small project and a clear weekly rhythm. Define “wins,” align your tone, and protect date night.
Pray together. Ask God to bless the work of your hands—and your hearts.
A Framework That Keeps Us Aligned
If you want scaffolding for seasons like this, the Five Pillars Alignment Course is where I point dads. It helps you live in the right order—faith, self-care, family, finances, passion—so your business strengthens your home instead of stealing from it. And keep an eye out for our Brand Building Course (teaser)—a practical path for fathers to build income from passion while staying present at home.
