When Presence Wins: The Day I Chose My Son Over Extra Work
When Presence Wins: The Day I Chose My Son Over Extra Work
There’s a kind of decision we dads face more often than we admit.
It’s not between right and wrong, or good and bad. It’s between good and better. Between "this would be productive" and "this would be meaningful."
That was me earlier today.
I had one of those rare open pockets — 20, maybe 30 minutes of space in the middle of the day. Enough time to knock out a few tasks that would put me ahead for later. A tempting little window to get ahead on work.
But then I heard the soft sound of my son watching his favorite show.
Dragon Tales.
He was settled in, already happy. I’d turned it on for him and was halfway out of the room before something stopped me.
I paused. And asked myself: What do I really want to do here?
A Simple Choice With a Big Weight
See, the temptation was strong. That little block of time? It felt like gold. The to-do list in my head started flashing:
Get a head start on emails
Knock out one more client update
Draft tomorrow’s content
But I paused again. And looked at him.
He was just sitting there. Content. Engaged. Waiting to be invited into connection.
So I walked back in. I asked, "Hey, can I watch this with you?"
His face lit up. He said yes. I asked him to scooch in a little closer, and we just sat. Side by side. Father and son. Watching Dragon Tales.
And in that moment, I felt it.
Peace. Satisfaction. Connection.
The kind you can’t schedule later.
And more than just being there physically, I chose to be there emotionally. Present, available, grounded.
I’ve Missed These Moments Before
I’ve gotten this wrong in the past.
I’ve told myself, "I need to work right now — to provide for them."
And while that’s not a bad mindset, it becomes dangerous when it robs us of presence. Because the truth is: you can’t provide what your presence alone gives.
I’ve said no to playtime. I’ve brushed off snuggle moments. I’ve chosen hustle instead of heart. And it stings — deeply — when you realize the moment passed and you missed it.
You don’t get those back.
That’s why today mattered.
Because today I chose different. I chose presence. I chose relationship.
And I walked into the rest of my day more satisfied than I ever would have been with a completed checklist.
That sense of peace? It stayed with me. It helped me show up better in every other role. As a leader. As a husband. As a man.
The Trap of Always Doing More
Many of us fall into what I call the “optional extra work” trap. It’s when you could rest or be with your family — but instead you chase a little more output.
The crazy part? That little extra rarely moves the needle. But your absence? That does leave a mark.
The idea that "I must work nonstop to provide for my family" can blind us to the very people we say we're working for. Providing isn’t just about money — it’s also about time, attention, memories.
That’s the deeper provision. The stuff they carry for life.
So I’ve started asking myself more regularly: What’s the most loving thing I can do right now?
Sometimes that answer is hustle. Sometimes it’s holding your son close.
But you don’t get the answer unless you pause to ask.
Why This Moment Hit Different
This wasn’t just about one cartoon episode. It was about the Family Pillar I teach in my Five Pillars Alignment framework.
Family isn’t something we just "do" after work.
It’s a core reason why we work.
That moment reminded me: work will always be there.
But my son won’t always be four years old.
He won’t always want me to sit beside him.
And I won’t always be around to say yes.
I’ve structured my entire workday around that truth. I only work one to two hours while the kids are awake. The rest I do after bedtime. It’s not always easy. But it’s worth it.
So when I had the chance — I said yes.
And I’m so glad I did.
For the Dad Who Feels Like He Can’t Afford the Pause
Maybe you feel like you’re always behind.
Or like you have to stay ahead to feel safe.
You’ve built your whole rhythm around the idea that “just one more task” will finally give you peace.
But let me ask you something:
What if the very thing you think you’re working for is quietly asking for you instead?
Your kids won’t always say, "Dad, I want you here."
Sometimes their invitation is unspoken. A glance. A laugh. A favorite show turned on.
And if you work from home or have flexibility during the day — use it.
Pause.
Ask yourself what you really want.
Then act in a way your future self — and your kids — will remember.
Because one day, you’ll want to be remembered as the dad who showed up.
Not just the dad who produced a lot.
Want to Live More Intentionally?
This story is just one of the reasons I created the Five Pillars Alignment Course.
It’s a practical, mindset-shifting journey for dads who want to:
Stop living on autopilot
Lead their homes with faith and clarity
Build a rhythm of presence, purpose, and peace
If you’ve ever struggled to balance your work and family life, this course is for you.
🎯 Learn more about the Five Pillars here
The window to lead with presence is always open — for now.
Don’t let it close unnoticed.
