Rest Is Not Lazy: How a Day Off Makes You a Better Husband, Father, and Leader
There’s a lie a lot of men carry around like a badge: if you’re not grinding, you’re falling behind.
I’ve believed it—and I’ll be honest, I still push through warning lights for a few days when I think I have to. But wisdom is knowing when to stop before you crash.
The Wednesday I Hit Pause (In a Season of Striving)
Yesterday wasn’t a surplus day. Bills aren’t all covered, pipeline isn’t overflowing, and I’ve been in a stretch of heavy outreach. I woke up with the dashboard flashing red—brain fog, low energy, neck/shoulder pain—and finally said, “Enough.” I prayed, talked with my family, and took the day off.
Mid-afternoon I got sick for six hours. Turns out my body had been asking for mercy before my mind would admit it. Because I’d already chosen rest, I wasn’t angry—I was grateful God nudged me to stop.
The Lie That Rest Is Weakness
That old voice shows up fast: You’ll fall behind. Real men don’t stop. Tomorrow will be worse.
Truth: the cost of refusing rest is higher than the cost of taking it. Refusal drags frustration into your home and your work; rest returns clarity, patience, and better decisions.
What One Day Off Does for Your Mind & Heart
Long stretches of deep work thin out patience, energy, and creativity. A single reset changes the weather inside you.
Mental reset: Fog lifts; first priorities become obvious.
Emotional steadying: Irritability drops; empathy returns.
Creative recharge: Ideas flow when pressure loosens.
My three signals to stop: brain fog, low energy, neck/shoulder pain. If they line up, I hit the brakes.
Spiritual Health: Dependence and Direction
On days like this my prayer is simple and close to verbatim:
“Lord, help me to trust that You’re God, and to let You be God—not me getting obsessed with thinking ‘I have to do provide.’”
Some days He gives direction; other days He gives peace. Either way, resting is an act of trust.
Family Relational Health: Unhurried Together
Rest gave us what hurried days can’t: a slow walk outside with no clock barking, an unhurried conversation with my wife, and fully present play with the kids—me actually there, physically and mentally. Kids feel it when Dad isn’t counting minutes; they soften because you did.
Physical Health: When Your Body Says “Stop”
I’ve pushed through before; it backfired. Yesterday I honored the stop—and beneath the mental strain I found real fatigue. I also chose a no-caffeine day to let my mind settle and heal, because I lean on coffee more than I should. Stewardship isn’t weakness.
Money & Productivity Anxiety (In the Middle of Lean)
Resting when work is thin feels expensive. Here’s how I hold it:
Provision: God provides; He’s never failed us.
Stewardship: Pushing a brittle man to churn is poor stewardship.
Multiplication: I get more done with less time after a reset. Rest multiplies effectiveness.
Boundaries & Scripts (How I Protect the Day)
Honesty creates peace for everyone.
Message I send to my clients or team: “Taking today off to rest after a heavy stretch. I’ll be back tomorrow and finish ____.”
Tech rules: Phone in a drawer, no email, no “quick checks.”
Place matters: I don’t enter the office—if I walk in, I’ll work. I know myself.
What a Real Day Off Includes (and Excludes)
Includes: extra sleep, prayer, no caffeine to let the brain settle, slow time with my wife, present play with the kids, a leisurely walk.
Excludes: inbox triage, metrics, and anything that turns me back into a performer.
Re-Entry: Finish the 24, Start Small
Don’t end rest early because you “feel good now.” Finish the full 24 hours. The next morning, open the calendar, name one priority, and start there. Momentum returns clean.
Make It a Rhythm: Weekly + Emergency Days
We protect Sundays off (98%) and keep Saturdays to a half-day morning. Midweek, when the lights flash (fog, low energy, pain), I pull the emergency brake. That’s not quitting—it’s leading with wisdom.
If You Feel Guilty—Read This
You’re not weak for resting. You’re wise. Your home and work don’t need your grind; they need your presence.
A 24-Hour Reset You Can Use Today
Tell the truth: “I’m at 30% and need a reset.”
Inform your people: Send the script. Silence notifications.
Bookend with prayer: Morning and night—short, honest, grateful.
Be with your people: Slow walk, unhurried talk, present play.
Protect the 24: No early restart. Begin tomorrow with one priority.
Want a framework that protects you from lopsided hustle? The Five Pillars Alignment Course helps you order life—faith, self-care, family, finances, passion—so you can lead with clarity and peace.
